I still blame myself. Whenever I think about it, I can’t help but beat myself up. We weren’t “together”. He was after me but multiple times, in various ways I’ve made a point that I wasn’t interested. I just wanted to be friends. But maybe it was the way I responded or the way I treated him that gave him the wrong impression. Maybe it was because I couldn’t bear to lose our friendship that made it seemed like I was giving him hope. I treated him the same as I’ve treated my ot